Poem where I imagine myself as part of the Donner Party

I’m scared to eat anyone’s eyes because I’m worried I’ll see their dreams & the sickness each of them carry, or that they will constantly be looking at my insides, the darkness they haunt, asking, Why why why why why why why why why why why why? & there’d be nothing for me to say to them to make it better, nothing for me to do but shrug & take a knife to my stomach & pull out whatever is left in its hollow shell.